lifestyle

Holiday Survival Tips for Neurodivergent Individuals

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase


Its the Most Wonderful Time… Or is it?
The time of year is here my friends. When we are expected to leave our chosen feline fam to venture far out and deep into the woods and weeds…To travel long distance through bus, train, car rides or worse yet, past thecreeper TSA airport agents groping. (Gag me)


I Choose 1000 Cuts
Leaving the safety of our cats and engaging with the void of “humanity”. This is most challenging, if not impossible for me. And they say its the same for most neurodivergent folks. Some of us experience sound, smells, sensations differently. The sound of an uncle chewing. The smell of certain foods cooking. The triggers from old family wounds. Certain relatives who drink too much and continue to cause trauma. Certain relatives who don’t drink but sill love to cause conflict. Its too much. I’m feeling chaotic and panicked just writing about this. The crowds at the airport or even the constraint from a short car ride with family. Or alone. Some of us (hand raised) cant even drive a vehicle without experiencing a panic attack. Much alone ride in a car. Moreover, I cant even leave the house for longer than an hour at a time. Even a 5 minute public engagement can be so draining. Hell, Zoom meetings drain me after 5 minutes most times. Dealing with the public sucks. Dealing with crowds and family…..its much too much. A feat worse than 1000 cuts. I would much prefer the 1000 cuts than dealing with toxic narcissists who refuse to get therapy.


World’s Smallest Violin for Play for Myself
To make things worse, I have food trauma. Well, not really food trauma per se. I just have challenges eating with other people. For numerous reasons. Too many for this post. But mainly, the fact that I’ve been a vegetarian for close to 30 years. My family of origin refuses to this day to make any concessions for my diet. Unless by chance one of their own kids is going through a plant based fad of the year. Then, and only then, will they think of accommodating a non meat eater. “Just pick the meat out” they say. Like that is acceptable. Pure dysfunction and insanity.


And I Say No No No No….I Don’t Ringo No More
My way of coping with this in the past was drinking large amounts of alcohol. And breaking to chain smoke. Oh the good old days. I would also choose to not show up. And I did that a lot. Which I now regret because many family is no longer here. And my nieces and nephews are mostly grown. So that wasn’t the best way of coping. Plus I no longer smoke or drink.


Holy Eggnog Batman.

The holidays are here. Which means spending time away from your cats. With humans. From the fun and functioning to the dystopian dysfunction. Or occasionally, the “fun” in dysfunction. Though, it is okay to go at it with your chosen family. Your cats. Do your own “safe” celebrating. Like brushing your cat and watching Empire Strikes Back on autoplay. (I’ve been there).


Help Me Obi Wan or Wanda Yeah
Regardless, I’ve put together a list of essential survival must haves. If possible, learn skills and show up. Here are my tips….along with some personal recommendations for holiday survival. Cheers and Enjoy. But most of all SURVIVE!

Leave any recommendations, personal experiences, tips or feedback in the comments.

*****you are not alone. If you need help for the stress of handling the holidays. Help is available 24/7.*******
NAMI HelpLine is available M-F, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m. ET. Call 800-950-6264,
text “helpline” to 62640, or chat online. In a crisis, call or text 988 (24/7)
Please reach out https://www.nami.org/your-journey/kids-teens-and-young-adults/young-adults/how-to-seek-help/#:~:text=Contact%20the%20NAMI%20HelpLine%20at,org%20for%20guidance%20and%20support

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Amazon Music 3 months free. Make sure and have your playlist ready. Works with your Alexa devices as well. I play classical on continuous loop. Helps every time. https://amzn.to/4gRRo9o

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback – June 1, 2015
by Lindsay C. Gibson
https://amzn.to/3VWxS3D

The Art of War (Deluxe Hardbound Edition) (Fingerprint! Classics)
by Sun Tzu 
https://amzn.to/3PcCz5G

Bose QuietComfort Bluetooth Headphones, Wireless Headphones, Over Ear Noise Cancelling Headphones with Mic
https://amzn.to/4fBofOG

Beats Studio Pro x Kim Kardashian – Bluetooth Noise Cancelling Headphon
https://amzn.to/40aaDFV

Pyrex Deep 3-Pack Glass Baking Dish Set (9″x13″, 7″x11″, 8″x8″) With BPA-Free Lids
https://amzn.to/407XLQp

Amazon Prime Video free trial (in case you decide to stay home and comfort stream your favorite movie. Or if you are traveling and need to download some for the trip)
https://www.amazon.com/b?node=2858778011&linkCode=ll2&tag=vadergrrrl-20&linkId=0c1234ec723a45b9c84c86cd6c1875d0&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl

Tupperware Heritage Collection 7.6 Cup Cookie Caniste
https://amzn.to/3BL9tHq

yescool 20lbs Pink Grey Weighted Blanket for Adults 60″x80″, Cooling, Heavy, Breathable with Glass Beads, Queen Size, Machine Washable
https://amzn.to/4fBoUzE

SNOOZ Pro – Smart White Noise Machine & Travel Case – Real Fan Inside, Non-Looping White N
https://amzn.to/4iRaWMT

Amazon Echo Dot (newest model)
https://amzn.to/4gKcszj

Himalayan Singing Bowls 9 hours on Prime
https://amzn.to/4fu1igw

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Best cell phones for probation compliance

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Advice from Cat Fam to Human Fam

Twilight and Bandit Grey have a family member they love who has been arrested in the past and dealt with very strict probation. It happens. Especially with the criminalization of mental health and poverty. Our loved ones get arrested. We do anything to support them in their journey. Communication is key. Knowing how to get them compliant cell phones for communication is of utmost importance.

Homey Dont Play Around

If you or a loved one is ever on probation, strict adherence is mandatory. No social media. No basic internet. Just calls, texts, some apps. Doesn’t leave many options outside of a basic flip phone or phone with no keyboard. Its super confusing and frusterting. Unfortunately, its not something you can get wrong. Getting it wrong can mean a probation violation and/or worse… jail time.

Smart Link / Free “Obama” Phones

You can’t get the free Android with the Obama phone. It has internet. There are no non-Android phones available with the program. You can find and buy a non-Android phone to use it with the free program. But its almost impossible to find them.

Must Have a Keyboard and Music!!

Texting without a keyboard is pretty impossible and frustrating. Its even more arduous to find a cell phone with a keyboard and not internet. Luckily, there are a few brands advertised for kids that work for probation. Most probation departments actually recomend these companies. Problem is they are not free or cheap. And they typically will not work with other providers. However, it is worth the cost.

****Of course always check with the assigned Probation Department ****


Basic Flip Phones

Basic flip phones work but only if they do not have internet. They must be talk and text only. That is it. They also market a lot of “no interest” phones for seniors. Here are a couple examples.

Nokia 2780 Flip | Unlocked | Universally Compatible with All Mobile Carriers | Black https://amzn.to/3BF5H2n

Senior Phone

C1+4G LTE T-Mobile Cell Phone for Seniors and Kids丨Big Button Unlocked Phones丨SOS Button丨One-touch Time Reporting丨Basic Phone丨Speed Dial丨Alarm Clock丨Torch丨Charging Dock丨1800mAh Battery – Black https://amzn.to/41JqjkA

Overall Top Picks Pinwheel or GABB

Pinwheel is top pick. It has the best app access for music and uber or Amazon. Gabb is great as well. Just less apps than Pinwheel.

Pinwheel Plus 4 Kids Smartphone (Age 8-18) | Built-in Parent Management System | 1,200+ Vetted Apps with Child Safety Ratings | No Social Media | Unlocked for Any Cell Carrier | No Activation fees https://amzn.to/3VVw4YF


Gabb Phone 4 Pro: Phone for Kids & Teens – GPS Tracker for Kids, No Social Media, No Internet Browsers, Parental Controls, Talk & Text, Safe Messaging App for Kids, Safe Video Calls, 30 Activation Fee https://amzn.to/3ZTZwzo

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Gifts for Aging Parents

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Engage like Picard

It is hard to get our beloved Boomer fam and Silent Gen fam to embrace technology. Its hard for any generation honestly, including mine, Gene, who might as well be Boomers. Anyway… my point is if we can gift them tech it could easily save and prolong their lives. Many wearables include fall detection. Car crash detection. As well as heart monitoring features with the ability to take en ECG.  

Peace of Mind


Our parents don’t live forever. Nor do we. Our friends. Anyone we care about. Many older folks insist on living alone. Refusing to leave the family home, even when they are struggling. Falls happen and with our aging loved ones, a fall often can be deadly.

Personal Backstory

During my mothers battle with cancer, she took a fall in the bathroom and this spiraled into her passing. We hear stories all the time of folks passing home alone, and only being found by the delivery driver.

Stubborn

We can’t always get them to wear the watch. Even if its bling. We can try. Its great because the watch will work with most phone providers. I know in my experience, every time I use the bathroom my phone rings. Im able to answer right from the watch. Its great. My watch also monitors my sleep.

Help, Ive fallen and I can’t get up

Remember the commercial from the 80’s? “Ive fallen and I can’t get up” went viral before we knew what viral meant. We want to protect our most vulnerable. Even ourselves. Falling is no joke. Living alone is brutal. If we can’t be with them in person, we can use technology to “be with them virtually”. Getting our people hooked into technology helps us all rest easier knowing they are protected.

Take the time to assist in Set Up

Below are Amazon links to various products that would make amazing Xmas gifts. Bonus points if we hang out with them and help them instal any app and work all the features. If we can’t do that in person, we can utilize zoom. It usually takes the older generation a minute to acclimate to the new technology. But once they familiarize themselves, they soon become Jedi master!!!

Apple Vs Android

Apple Watch. My top choice. Only because Im am an iPhone person. My boyfriend Zachery is Android however, but he uses an Apple Watch. It works great for him.

Alexa

The Alexa Echo provides another level of security. You can command Alexa to make phone calls, lists, remiders, play games, even comfort the dog. There is also a motion detector. This is a great device for the bathroom. Not only for the music feature, but the ability to use Alexa for emergency response. Since so many accidents happen in the bathroom. A time when we take off most wearables to bathe. Echo in the bathroom could be life saving.

Ill include links to helpful products below. These all would make great gifts. For the holidays. For any time. I wish we had them for my mother. Radical acceptance there. But I can advise others on how to prevent such a tragedy.

Here are links to wearables, Amazon Echos, old school life alerts and even the safety grab bars that I use. Very affordable. They work amazing. I wish to God we had them in my mothers bathroom. Sorry to be negative. Just know these little things can literally save our parents. Make sure at least you have your parents use the safety rails in the bathroom and shower. Or try. Like Yoda said “Do or Do Not”. Safety Dance. Thats our theme song today.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.


Apple Watch Series 10 [GPS 46mm case] Smartwatch with Jet Black Aluminium Case with Black Sport Band – M/L. Fitness Tracker, ECG App, Always-On Retina Display, Water Resistant

https://amzn.to/41LNriv


Michael Kors Men’s or Women’s Gen 6 44mm Touchscreen Smart Watch with Alexa Built-In, Fitness Tracker, Sleep Tracker, GPS, Music Control, Smartphone Notifications (Model: MKT5134V)

https://amzn.to/3ZKW8qF

WHOOP 4.0 with 12 Month Subscription – Wearable Health, Fitness & Activity Tracker – Continuous Monitoring, Performance Optimization, Heart Rate Tracking – Improve Sleep, Strain, Recovery, Wellness

https://amzn.to/3DvWTML

Fitbit Versa 2 Special Edition Health and Fitness Smartwatch with Heart Rate, Music, Alexa Built-In, Sleep and Swim Tracking, Smoke Woven/Mist Grey, One Size (S and L Bands Included)

https://amzn.to/4fv8GYU


All-new Echo Show 5 (3rd Gen, 2023 release) + Alexa Emergency Monthly (auto-renewal)

https://amzn.to/49RLVgB


Blink Video Doorbell (newest model), Two-way audio, HD video, motion and chime app alerts and Alexa enabled — wired or wire-free (Black)

https://amzn.to/49RLVgB



Amazon Echo (newest model), With premium sound, smart home hub, and Alexa, Charcoal

https://amzn.to/3ZRw78Y


Wall Mount Holder for Dot 4th/5th Generation, Outlet Hanger for Dot 4th/5th Gen, Smart Speaker Stand, Space-Saving Accessories, Built-in Cable Management Shelf, White

https://amzn.to/3VT92Sl

NL’AAHCÉ Grab Bars for Shower Heavy-Duty (2Pack)12-Inch ADA Compliant Shower Grab Bar for Seniors Shower Handles for Elderly Suction Handicap Safety Handrail for Bathroom Bathtubs Showers Toilet Black

https://amzn.to/3PaFJqo

Freedom Alert, Landline Personal Emergency Device, 2-Way Call with Family and Police for Home Safety, Device for Seniors and The Elderly

https://amzn.to/4gOes9e

Safety+ 4G Medical Alert System: Fall Detection, GPS Location, 24/7 Monitoring, Mobile Caregiver App, Small, Lightweight-Call to Activate Wireless Call Button, Personal Safety, Wearable Panic Button

https://amzn.to/3ZVBnsu

Medical Alert Womens Mens Necklace with Pendant – Custom Engraving for Diabetes Warfarin Dialysis Stroke Pacemakers

https://amzn.to/4gom9TJ

Fall Detection & Activity Sensor, Privacy-Preserving Videoless Stick Figure View, Action Statistics, Medical Alert

https://amzn.to/3PbOaC1